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Vulnerability Hangovers - My ninja guide to surviving them!


My WhatsApp is filled daily with juicy messages from clients who have stepped out into the world doing things that previously felt a little edgy to them.


From new raunchy sexual experiences to having expressed strong boundaries with friends to posting something on social media that was raw and vulnerable.


The one thing that always follows the courageous story is the explanation of what is known as a vulnerability hangover kicking on in.




A vulnerability hangover is that gut-wrenching feeling of shame, fear, anxiety and doubt that pops right after we undertake an emotional risk. It's an outdated nervous system response of an emotional flashback to a time when it wasn't safe to be wildly sexual, speak our truth or be seen in our vulnerability.

And from my own regular hangover experiences, I know this is hard to sit in but from vast experience, I know it’s part of the process of stepping into our power.


Being vulnerable is not easy. It takes a lot of guts to put your foot down and share who you truly are with someone else.

We’re opening ourselves up to deeper human connection, but we’re also opening ourselves up to the fear of rejection and judgement.


That can be incredibly scary to one’s nervous system, depending on the situation.


There’s a weird misconception out there that being vulnerable makes us weak. Our vulnerability hangovers often reiterate this misconception since we feel “weak” for opening up.


That’s bullshit.


To me, vulnerability hangovers are the most accurate measure of courage.