How you approach a breakdown is fundamental to
the outcome of your breakthrough. 🌺
THE WELCOME PARTY TO MY BREAKDOWN HAD COMMENCED
It wasn't just a one-off nighttime gig.
I needed a few days of overwhelm and high-intensity stress in my body to build up to the big event. 🙌
The first party was gaining pace, as I was well aware. 💌 My extreme exhaustion was due to the intense waves of dense, contracted energy (from the overwhelm and stress) pulsating through my body.
My mind was on overdrive
"How was I going to get everything done? Why am I not further forward".
My ego only wants to thrive and win, so when it has taken over anything, not going in that direction feels like it's dragging me closer to failure and death. 🤔
Now, as this intro party went off, it started gaining momentum. 😔 These destructive dense waves of contracted energy blocked any connection with my body and left the party's hosting to my mind. 🧠
And that monkey mind relished in looping in thoughts that were not reality.😖
More guests started arriving. 🥺
My mother's voice telling me I will never be good enough, my homeless teenagers fear of not having financial security piping in, all throwing the thoughts of ''You are a failure, you will never be good enough, who do you think you are, you are ugly''.
That new arrivals were throwing these thoughts out quicker than the popcorn was exploding in the microwave.
The next day as the party had gained so much momentum and was becoming crowded, it all got too much, and it started to kick off. 🥺
Anger came out, spitting out venom uncontrollably, targeting innocent victims. And then the next event was ready to welcome me on into the main event. 🎁
The deep dark cavern where the roots, the true story of the breakdown,
played out live on stage.
As i peeled back the duvet and crawled into the safety of my bed, my body reacted to the show in front of me. 💔 It let loose, the uncontrollable sobbing. With my pioneering breathwork skills, I knew I needed to breathe more profoundly into the sensations of my body. As the breath hit each contracted space, a memory let loose. 🥀
Earlier this year, I had sat in front of my sexual abuser, looked him in the eyes, told him I forgave him and asked him to collaborate with me to support other abused children. 🎀 He said yes and then proceeded to ignore all my letters and requests to speak with him. The sense that I wasn't good enough, i was not seen, I failed pulsated through me.
Another breath, another repressed emotion released. 🌸
My mother again abandoned me, sobs of deep confusion about why she couldn't mother me and profound grief at losing a motherly relationship. 😢
Amidst the show, I lay there thanking these deep painful parts of me for their performance.
I felt, I felt it all in my body as I was reminded I am not just my ego. I have layers. My body, my soul, my spirit, my mind, my emotions, my memories, my traumas, my inner child.
I lay thanking them all. 🧖♀️
As I kept breathing, memories of my life flashed through, and I realized no part of me was a failure. I lay sobbing in awe of the girl-turned-woman who had been so brave.
And at that moment, I knew this was just another breakdown that had to happen for me to break through. 🦾
I had spent the last month creating a new project, funnily enough, called The Breathwork Breakthrough, if you want to jump on the waitlist for this you can do so here.
Course creation, website building, employing new team members, press launches, it was full-on preparation, all systems go. 🙂😁
I know now I wasn't ready to launch. I needed to feel again what everybody else on the breathwork journey would most likely be experiencing.
I needed to be back on that breathwork mat each morning, breathing through the layers holding me back from my next phase of evolution. 🌻
I needed to honor the women that got me to this point in my life, not shame her or judge her but encourage her.
I know from my experience and thousands of clients that every breakthrough needs a breakdown. 🙏
I am 95% of the time
the happiest person I know.
That isn't some form of luck. That is from having so many breakdowns and each time anchoring into that deep knowing that a breakdown is a necessary part of saying hello to the new us we are ready to blossom into. 💐
You have to invite all the emotions 🙂 to the party and stay with them until they invite you into the secret back room rave where the show of the breakdown can really begin.
You must enter that back room to make it to that 95% joyful, peaceful life.
A breakdown is a celebration.
It is a breaking down of the old.
BREAKDOWN, the name says it all.
When you are in it, celebrate it, welcome all the guests, the fear, grief, anger, sadness, and failure; the party won't succeed without them. 😇
So here I am, thanking God for the breakdown. 💐
Now if you need support getting through your BREAKDOWN, i’m here for one person who’s READY and willing to do the work it takes to restore to a baseline reality of joy. 🥰
I have 1 more 1:1 space left this year to begin mid Feb. You can check out more over here or reply to this mail to book a chit chat.
To be the first to know about the 9 week online Breathwork Breakthrough program for men and women - register here
For all the ladies out there who want to know more about the legendary deep dive 6 months -Unleash your You program - head over here.
Love Angharad x